Taking a Stance on Attachment Parenting

Even when they leave my side, they are forever attached to my heart.

So I’m a couple of weeks behind the giant Time magazine cover controversy that begs the question as to whether anti-attachment parents are inferior to their baby-wearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding-until-preschool counterparts. My first instinct is to say enough already. We’re all doing our best for our kids, even if we don’t all choose to do things in the same way. But then when we really get down to it, the whole controversy really ticks me off. I mean, aren’t we all attached to our kids for all eternity from the minute we first see that pregnancy test plus sign, or hear that tiny rapid heartbeat?

For all the mothers out there who are left second guessing their parenting philosophies or suffering from mom guilt, I beg you: Please don’t feed into these mommy wars. Instead, focus that energy on your kids, in whatever way works for you.

Just to prove my point, even though I haven’t practiced a majority of the stuff that Dr. Sears promotes as the optimal ways to parent, here are a few examples of how I practice attachment parenting everyday:

• I haven’t peed in private or without interruption in 8 years. Ditto for showers, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, etc. In fact, I’d say that it’s a scientific fact that the more privacy required by social custom, the higher the level of attachment the kids will need at that moment. Accepting this fact is part of what being a mother is all about.
• Every decision I have made since I’ve been a mom has been attached to the fact that I am a parent. Heck, every thought I’ve had, how I see the world, my reaction to news items and advertisements and commentary, is colored by the fact that I now have two little boys who have changed my world forever. How else do you explain tearing up when commercials like this come on?
• My C-section scars (and probably my stretch marks, too) will forever be attached to my body as physical reminders of my motherhood… my pregnancy battle scars, if you will.
• Physical attachment has nothing on how severely my heart and soul swell when I think about those beautiful little faces.
• Try to come between me and my kids or hurt them in any way, and you’ll find out real quick just how attached we are — to the tune of a massive roundhouse kick to the face!

So, now you know where I stand on attachment parenting… how about you?